Hallelujah Nevertheless (Sara Flores)
Thanks to the essential worker who felt like adding some joy to social distancing.
According to my phone, I have listened to “Joy Invincible” by Switchfoot more than any other song. This is not surprising considering I’ve been an ardent Switchfoot fan since my angsty middle school days in Southern California. Many of the San Diego band’s songs serve as timestamps for me, holding layers of memories from when I first heard them long ago right up to today, and if my experience of COVID-19 had a theme song, it would have to be “Joy Invincible.”
That being said, I have not felt all that joyful during this weird time. I’ve mostly felt frustrated by my lack of productivity. I thought self-isolation would help my paper writing process, but telling myself to “think of this as a writing retreat” only worked for the first couple of days. My new normal has included a lot of movies, laps around my apartment, and tears. Trying to get a decent amount of sleep has become annoyingly difficult, and I have spent who knows how long on the phone and Zoom venting to various friends and family members. I’ve felt lazy at best and powerless at worst and then guilty for wallowing in my own issues when others are facing much, much worse. In an effort to combat this negativity, I’ve turned to songs that helped me through some tough times in the past, many of which are by Switchfoot.
Prior to COVID-19, “Joy Invincible” reminded me of my great-uncle Manuel, a loving and kind man known for his exuberant, infectious laugh and rich singing voice. To me he radiated joy, especially when he led worship. Switchfoot released “Joy Invincible” a few weeks before my uncle’s death, and that phrase seemed to fit him perfectly. Now, however, another phrase has captured my attention more—a pair of words that start the chorus:
Hallelujah nevertheless
Was the song that pain couldn’t destroy
Hallelujah nevertheless
You’re my joy invincible
Joy invincible joy
While scrolling through online comments about this song a few weeks ago, I noticed that several people equated “hallelujah nevertheless” with “it is well with my soul.” I was stunned. Despite singing Horatio Spafford’s well-known hymn plenty of times over the years, I had not made this connection between the two songs. But it makes sense. Both Switchfoot’s song and Spafford’s hymn are somewhat defiant declarations, acts of resistance in the midst of pain and sadness. I like the idea that a simple phrase can convey both the presence of joy and the reality of suffering. My quarantine experience has been disheartening at times, but when something or someone reminds me that I can still say “hallelujah nevertheless,” I feel like I can keep moving forward.
And always, it is other people who have helped me say “hallelujah nevertheless.” From the essential worker who thought of using brightly-colored chalk with hearts and stars to encourage us in our social distancing to my newborn baby niece who is just the best, other people have been my “joy invincible” during the times when I’ve struggled to see beyond the grimness of everything. My sister’s graduation was canceled, but my parents organized a mini ceremony (complete with a slideshow) over Zoom anyway, and it was awesome. Switchfoot concerts have been postponed, but the band’s lead singer, Jon Foreman, posts a new acoustic performance almost every night. Bad news is everywhere, but good news abounds.
So in the end, what I most want to say is thank you. Thank you to all the friends, family, and strangers who are resisting the darkness of COVID-19 in whatever ways you can. You are helping me get through this. You remind me of “joy invincible.”
Hallelujah nevertheless.
Sara Flores is part of The Carver Project’s reading group for graduate students in the humanities and a PhD student in the Department of English at Washington University in St. Louis.
For Further Listening (videos below):
“Joy Invincible” (original recording)
“Joy Invincible”- Social Distancing Edition (03/17/2020)
Jon Foreman covers “It Is Well” (05/05/2020)
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