A Place Called Grace (Katie Nix)
Throughout the Old Testament, the theme of “when we go back” saturates the text: when we return to the land, when we have power, when our routines and traditions return. The exception is the Book of Esther. Esther is a story of God’s people in exile, stuck in a place they don’t want to be, living with people they don’t want to live with. They have been stripped of everything that defines them—no temple, no traditions, no status… However, in this story that highlights the struggle of God’s people to do something, anything, to change the crisis they are in, nowhere is there a decree to leave, or remember the “good old days.” There are no prayers for things to return to the way they were. In Esther, it’s not about when one goes back. It’s about finding God here and now, in this new reality that has to be navigated. The story of Esther asks us to move our mindset from returning, from surviving, to THRIVING. All through the power of community. ~ Previous article written in 2020
Reading what I wrote five years ago, I still agree, and I even find myself moved by it (as a reader sometimes discovers their own writing all over again). To think that I wrote this in the midst of moving a historic congregation to online worship, navigating online schooling with my three young children, and trying to comfort and care for a congregation that I could not see or touch. But here I am, five years later, returning to this story, thinking about my beloved church and all that we have endured in this journey together.
Esther was courageous enough to say yes. To step into an unknown future and advocate for justice and restoration for her people. Perhaps she had so much courage because she had her community supporting her. I know that for our church, when we faced the unknown in the form of a global pandemic and a church merger, bravery became a blessing. The willingness to lean into the creativity of God’s Spirit brought hope and light. The desire to show compassion and care for each other created new and deeper bonds. Rather than sink into fear and apathy, I watched a group of people commit to loving God and each other, and the results were nothing short of miraculous.
It is a gift to look back over the past five years and see how God was preparing our church for such a time as this and how this journey moved us to where we are now. Grace UMC has discovered that our core identity is a place of faith, hope, and safety that welcomes all, celebrates beloved identities, and stands up to injustice. We do so always in and through authentic relationships and deep compassion.
Make no mistake, there were bumps and bruises along the way. We had to continuously lean back into our namesake—a place called Grace—and exercise forgiveness and humility. We rejoiced in the new faces that started calling our community home, and we wept for the saints that went on to glory. But if the past years have taught me anything, it is that we are stronger together. Our tomorrow is unknown, and the challenges before us (especially for creating authentic relationships and standing up to injustice) will be great. But if we are going to build a beloved community here at Grace UMC, then we need to keep looking for God in unlikely places. We need to honor the past, but not spend our time focused on when. Let us look to Esther, and our own story these past 5 years. Because if we always long for some other place or time, if we spend our time waiting to return—waiting until we have a place again, a status again, power again—we will miss what God is doing right here and now.
Rev. Dr. Katie Nix is a Carver Project ministry partner and lead pastor of Grace United Methodist Church in St. Louis.
Read Katie’s previous article from 2020: “Thinking with Esther”