Speaking a True Word
By Katie Nix
“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” Philippians 4:8 Message Translation
I don’t know about you, but these days I find myself doing a lot more cursing. In my defense, we are still in a pandemic trying to navigate school and friendships and vaccines and social justice and church and family and... Do you see now why I may sometimes let a word slip out?
Growing up as a good little Christian girl, I was instructed countless times about the dangers and evils of cursing. According to one sweet old lady in my church, it was one of the worst sins imaginable! I took this close to heart and pondered it intently as I grew, only to discover the great irony of this warning. How many times had the Lord’s name been used to justify unimaginable evil, from slavery to genocide to the oppression of women and siblings of all beloved identities? Could cursing truly be the worst thing a Christian can do? Perhaps “taking the Lord’s name in vain” was more than just yelling out a profanity when I stubbed my toe.
And perhaps there are times when only a good curse word will do. I once read a parenting blog article written by a mom to her children after the death of their dad. She shared in the article that she taught her children how to curse. Death demanded it. Shocking, and yet incredibly intriguing. She explained, “Sometimes our emotions are so big and so heavy that we need special words to say what’s bottled up inside. That if we are going to be true to how we feel, that sometimes it’s ok to use words that get it all out.”
I found such comfort in this idea, and it wasn’t until recently that I also saw its presence in this passage from the Apostle Paul. How many times had I read this passage and skipped right to the rules? “Do this, don’t do that. Fill your mind with good things. Don’t curse.” But the passage begins with powerful markers – truth and authenticity. Perhaps the Spirit is trying to give us an avenue of grace (and creative license in our language) through this passage. Perhaps this passage acknowledges that sometimes, maybe more than we allow ourselves, in order to end up at the point of praise and the best, we need to yell about the worst and even curse.
Those of us who have seen the hard, the painful, the lonely, and the overwhelming of this pandemic know all too well that sometimes our hardship can become beautiful, if we give it the words it needs to live. The Apostle Paul encourages us in the preceding verse to turn our worry and fears into prayer. During this pandemic, my prayers have been raw and vulnerable and full of heavy and hard language. And that’s ok. That’s holy. That’s exactly what God wants from us. To name the truth, to be authentic, and to bring all of the ugly before God.
Friends, I don’t know how this school year has been for you. Since I have yet to hear a single parent, student, or teacher say that it has even reached the mark of tolerable, I’m guessing it hasn’t been easy. I hope you give yourself enough grace in this season to name the ugly so that you can find the beautiful, to cry and scream over the worst so that someday… yes, someday… you will be ready to see and feel the best. But most of all, I hope you can be authentic. Even if it means you need to curse.
Rev. Dr. Katie Nix is lead pastor of Grace United Methodist Church in St. Louis, a church partner of The Carver Project.